To watch a horror film
by Philomela Kellswater
Summary: What would happen if the marauders should watch a film? A horror film, as a part of Muggle Stuidies? Find out! But it's a lot of arguments before they can start the film, and maybe their teacher's choice wasn't very good.
1. The Horror Film

**Authors' note:  
**I don't own Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew or Lily Evans, but Aurora Sunrise and Robyn Donaldson are both mine. And this fic isn't fun if you haven't seen 'The Shining'. According to JKR boys and girls don't sleep in the same dormitory, but in this fic they do. And just one more thing: I KNOW that 'The Shining' didn't exist in 1975, but I don't care about that. I'm not sure if 'The Exorcist' did, but it doesn't matter. What's fun being a fanfiction-author if you can't make films jump in time???

To watch a Horror Film

'SIRIUS BLACK! THAT'S ENOUGH!' yelled James Potter at the top of his voice. Sirius Black froze, and all the pillows he had been hexing to throw themselves at his classmates fell down.  
'Thanks James' said Aurora Sunrise, from behind the television set, where she had been hiding to avoid the pillows.  
'Any time, Ro', said James, pulling up Lily Evans from the floor. Her red hair was covered in feathers.  
'James', said Remus Lupin. 'I will never call you an arrogant little berk again.'  
'Thank you so much, Remus, but I can't ask that of you. An honourable man who only does his duty needs no reward.'  
'James Potter, an honourable man?' said Aurora sarcastically, but nobody was listening to her. Remus smiled and said:  
'Oh, Jamie, I'm so grateful! By the way, you're an arrogant little berk!' The room was filled with laughter. Even James found it amusing.  
'All right, let's be a little serious here!' said Robyn Donaldson. Sirius smirked. 'WAIT! I didn't say that! No pun intended!' Robyn quickly added. What I meant was that we perhaps should remember that we're actually are having a lesson here, even if we are in our dormitory.'  
'OK, no more pillow fighting' said Sirius. 'Let's see what kind of film that old hag gave us. Peter, hand me that bag!' Peter Pettigrew threw a lime green bag at Sirius, who opened it. Inside he found an ordinary video-tape, but he looked suspiciously at it.  
'Don't worry, I think it's safe' Lily said, smiling.  
'Yes' Aurora said. 'It won't eat you, or bite you, or burn your eyes out. Unless the old hag cursed it, and I would understand her if she had' Everybody laughed, except Sirius, who didn't find it very amusing. When everybody except James had stopped laughing, Robyn said:  
'Now, which film IS that?'  
'Something called 'The Shining'. Sounds boring' Sirius said.  
'Well, then there's something wrong with your ears' said Aurora. 'Because it's not. It's a little weird, but not boring'  
'You've seen it?' Remus asked.  
'Yeah, twice. But of all films in universe, I wouldn't have picked this one for a lesson'  
'Why not?' James asked, sounding very curious.  
'Because it's a horror film' Lily said. 'Isn't it?' Aurora nodded.  
'And it's got bad reputation' Robyn added.  
'Not as bad as 'The Exorcist'. Something to be grateful for' Aurora said.  
'What's that?' James asked.  
'Another horror film, which makes 'The Shining' seem like a cute fairytale' Aurora said casually.  
'You've seen 'The Exorcist' too?' Lily said, sounding surprised.  
'Sure, haven't you?' Aurora said, sounding even more casual.  
'Of course not!' Lily said. 'They say that people fainted and threw up, and had to be carried out of the cinema when they saw it'  
'Really?' Sirius said, but Lily didn't answer him. It might give him ideas...  
'Are we going to watch this Shining, or what?' Peter asked impatiently.  
'Well, what do you think. For being a horror film, it's not that bad' Aurora said.  
'That depends' said Sirius.  
'Depends on what?' Aurora asked.  
'Depends on how much blood there is in it. If it's not very much, I won't see it'  
'Like you have any choice' Robyn muttered.  
'Is there a lot of blood in it?' Sirius asked curiously. For some reason the others could not understand, Aurora found that comment very amusing. She began to laugh like mad. Finally, Peter got tired of waiting for her to stop laughing and said impatiently:  
'Oh, come on Aurora! Get a grip on yourself and tell us what's so funny!'  
'No, I don't want to spoil the film for you. Can't we watch it instead? Please?' The Gryffindor fifth years looked at each other. The boys seemed to agree, but Robyn and Lily still did look sceptical. Both were muggleborn, and they had heard a lot about what a scary film 'The Shining' was [**Authors' note:** Note that it is "was' and not "is'. "The Shining' isn't scary anymore].  
'Isn't it a pretty scary film?' said Robyn finally. Aurora looked puzzled for a moment. Then she said:  
'Well, if you think it's too scary, you can either close your eyes, or we can turn the sound off.'  
'Turn the sound off?' the others echoed.  
'Yes. It's a well-known fact that a lot of scary things in films are built on music and strange sounds'  
'Is it?' James asked.  
'Is it what?' Aurora asked impatiently.  
'A well-known fact'  
'Yes, to everybody whose head which actually contains a brain and not just stupid untidy hair' Aurora snapped. She was getting tired of discussing this.  
'Like you should be the one to talk' James muttered, looking at Auroras plaits, which had grown past her knees. Then he added a bit louder:  
'But if we turn the sound off, we won't hear what they're saying!'

'Good point, Jamie' Sirius said. James gave him a very dirty look. He didn't like being called Jamie.  
'Read their lips, stupid' Lily said.  
'What if I can't?' James said.  
'Trust me, they won't be talking when, and if, we need to turn the sound off. Only yelling, and hear them yell will only hurt our ears, so it won't be that much of a problem'  
'All right, then. Lets watch it instead of talking' Sirius said. He seemed to very eager to put the tape into the video player, but Robyn and Aurora stopped him. They remembered what had happened the last time Sirius got near something electric.  
'Leave the technology for the girls, Siri' said James with a grin. Sirius answered by throwing a pillow at him.  
'No more pillow fighting!' said Lily without looking at them.  
'All right, all right!' said Sirius, and Aurora could swear that he muttered a 'Party-pooper', but he said it quietly enough for her to pretend she didn't hear him.

While sitting on the floor looking at 'The Shining', they all discovered why the comment 'a lot of blood' was so extremely funny. All of them, except Aurora, began to look a bit pale after they had seen the twin girls chopped in to pieces covered in blood ('bloody pieces' as Aurora called it). So when Danny entered room 237 Aurora turned the sound off, and started to giggle in a way off imitating the woman in the bathtub (who, altough on other reasons had made Robyn and Lily giggling) And Aurora had more funny comments at hand. During the episode at the 'gentlemen's room' she said:  
'I don't think I've ever seen anything that ugly.'  
'What are you referring to?' asked Remus. 'That ugly red colour of the walls and everything, Jack Nicholson or that Grady guy?'  
'None of them, although they are also very ugly, but I meant that jacket Jack's wearing. It looked better a couple of minutes ago, but those spots of whatever it is don't suite the colour of the jacket at all. In fact, it looks terrible!' And once again the room as filled with laughter.  
'You know' said James after a while. 'This is the weirdest lesson we have had during this whole year. Instead of sitting in a classroom taking notes etc etc, are we sitting on the floor in our dormitory, watching a horror film. And, best of all, no teacher!'  
'For once' said Lily, 'your absolutely right'  
'But' said Peter, 'we are here just because we hadn't enough time to see it on today's' lesson, and it's kind of a homework.'  
'Well' said Lily. 'At least we could choose the film ourselves. WAIT! Why on earth is he writing 'REDRUM' on the bathroom door?'  
'MURDER' said Remus quietly.  
'MORD!' said Aurora.  
'What???' said Sirius. Aurora smiled.  
'Murder in Swedish' she explained.  
'Well' said Robyn. 'That's always a very useful word to know...'  
'Yeah' said Sirius. 'Next time I meet a Swedish person I will scream MORD! and see what will happen.' Aurora shook her head at the way he pronounced it and said:  
'Sirius, if you go round, screaming MORD!, you will probably be put in a mental hospital.'  
'Perhaps they will put you in Azkaban!' suggested Robyn.  
'That isn't funny' said James. 'You shouldn't joke about things like that'  
'Galghumor' commented Aurora.  
'I beg your pardon?' said James in abnormally perfect British English.  
'Sorry, I didn't mean to speak Swedish again. I didn't think'  
'Do you ever?' asked Sirius. Aurora ignored him completely.  
'Can we please watch this film now, instead of talking?' asked Peter. Everybody fell silent. They watched Jack Nicholson hunt Danny down to the maze, but when Danny started walking backwards Remus had to whisper to Aurora:  
'What's he doing?'  
'He's walking backwards in his own footprints, and then he'll jump aside. So then it'll look like he just disappeared when Jack's coming. Kind of smart for being a little kid'  
'Do you think Jack ever have heard of Apparating or Disapparating?  
'No, I think he's a pureblood muggle. But I think he played a werewolf in another film, called 'Wolf' or something like that. And I think he looks a bit like one, don't you?'  
'Yes, perhaps' said Remus very quietly.  
'Remus, are you all right?' Aurora sounded a little worried.  
'Yes, I'm fine. Why?'  
'You look a little pale. Are you sure you're OK?'  
'I'm just tired, that's all. It's a long film, and it's past midnight'  
'We are not far from the end now'  
'Is it ending happily?'  
'Just wait and see for yourself'  
'Can you two stop whispering now?' said James. 'I'm actually trying to watch this!' Sirius smiled a wicked smile.  
'Next time you want anybody's' attention, just scream: 'Here's Jamie!!!' James threw a pillow at Sirius, and his face turned dark red. He absolutely hated being called Jamie.  
'No more pillow fighting!' said Lily.  
'Yes, Miss Party-pooper!' said Sirius.

When the film had ended and they all lay in their beds and tried to sleep, Aurora said:  
'Oh, dear, I'm so tired. I think I can sleep forever . . . and ever . . . and ever!' Then she yawned and giggled.


	2. Matters of Arguments and Horror Books

Note: If you recognize anything, perhaps you've read HP-books. And anything you can't find in them, are mine. No, not everything. The person who can guess who owns the quotes from 'The Shining' will win 1000 SEK. And, the first quote is from page 520, Chapter called Drinks on the house, Part Five, called Matters of life and death. And Aurora says, translated into English: Oh, I really didn't know!

'Now, where's my quill?' These words were heard in the Gryffindor common room every evening. These words meant that it was time for the Daily Marauder Homework Ritual. Which the four Marauders had every evening. But it was not every evening that any homework were made. Mostly the Homework Ritual became the Dueling Ritual. Sirius Black and James Potter were like brothers, but just like brothers they didn't always get along, and both were fond of hexing each other. They knew a large number of hexes, which their classmates sometimes found practical, but sometimes just was bloody annoying. The Homework Ritual always started as a Homework Ritual, but when Sirius and James either got bored or finished their homework, they started talking. And if it had been a long day, they both were a little short-tempered. The other two Marauders, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, mostly finished their homework slower than the others. In Remus' case, it was a matter of minutes, in Peter's it was a matter of days. But one thing was always the same. James was ever able to find his quill. Or at least pretended not to. After searching his bag, he found it, and started to do his Transfiguration homework. Just a few meters away from the four Marauders, the three Gryffindor girls were sitting at a table, doing homework as well. Or, two of them were, and the third one, a girl with long black hair, was reading a yellow book that looked like a muggle novel.

'I just CAN'T do this!' Robyn Donaldson exclaimed, slamming her Transfiguration book on the table. 'It's IMPOSSIBLE!'

'I'm not surprised' the girl with the muggle book said.

'Oh, shut your big mouth, Sunrise!'

'Shut up, you too, Robyn. I'm trying to work here!' James said.

'No, really?' Aurora Sunrise said. 'Lily,' she added to the third girl at the table, 'call the Vatican. We've got a miracle to report! The famous James Potter, _working_!'

'She's right, you know. Shut your big mouth!' Sirius said.

'Did I hear somebody squeak?' Aurora said, returning to her book. The Gryffindor fifth years remained silent for a couple of minutes. Sirius wrote the last lines of his History of Magic essay, and threw himself back in his chair.

'I'm finished' he said.

'I know' James replied. 'Wait, this will just take a second'

'No, it won't. It'll take all night. And I'm bored'

'I don't care, Siri' James said.

'But what am I supposed to do while you finish your homework?' Sirius complained.

'I don't know! Go annoy somebody!'

'Like who?'

'McGonnagal, Crouch, Rita Skeeter, Aurora, anybody!' Sirius thought about this. Only one of these persons were present. And she was reading a book. A perfect opportunity to annoy her. So he got up, placed himself behind Aurora, and tried to read over her shoulder. He knew she hated this. And that was why he did it. Aurora moved in her chair, trying to make her book out of vision for Sirius, but he moved after. After a minute or so, she said:

'Sirius, do you want me to read out loud to you?' He just smiled, and continued to read over her shoulder. If somebody had been looking at Aurora at that moment her face had clearly said that she was thinking something like: 'Oh, Black, bugger OFF!' But Aurora normally avoided that kind of language in the presence of other people than her family, and people she knew didn't take it the wrong way. So she just moved again, but Sirius continued to read. Then he said:

'Why does that seem familiar to me?'

'Why does what seem familiar?' Remus asked, looking up from his notes. Sirius read out aloud:

'"Hello boys," Jack Torrance said softly. "I've been away but now I'm back."

"Good evening, Mr. Torrance," Lloyd said genuinely pleased. "It's good to see you."

"It's good to be back, Lloyd"' Sirius stopped reading, and Aurora shut her book, realising the following conversation would be interesting.

'Yeah, it rings a bell. I think I've heard that before' James said slowly. 'Well, not that exactly, but something like that, yes, it's familiar'

'I wonder why' Aurora said, looking at the ceiling. 'Have you been reading my books, James?'

'I doubt he has, since half the books you own are in Swedish' Remus said.

'Åh, det visste jag verkligen inte!' Aurora said. Her voice contained both sarcasm and surprise, but nobody understood her, so there was no use being sarcastic.

'What did you say?' Remus asked.

'Never mind. Well, since you lot don't remember were you've heard that before, I can tell you that you heard it yesterday evening, when we saw 'The Shining'. Do all Englishmen have such a bad memory?'

'It's a book? 'The Shining' is a book?' Sirius asked, ignoring what she said about Englishmen.

'No, not at all' Aurora said casually. Sirius and James looked puzzled for a moment, and then they realised that she was sarcastic again.

'May I have a look?' Remus the bookworm asked. Aurora made the book fly through the air with her wand, and it landed neatly in front of Remus, who took it up, and read the text on the back. And then he opened the book, and read out loud:

'Part One: Prefatory Matters'

'What's prefatory?' Aurora asked.

'Shut up, I want to hear this' Sirius said.

'Look, why don't you shut up instead? 'Tis my book, and if you're not polite, I will use it to knock you unconscious!'

'No, you really wouldn't want to do that' Sirius said threateningly.

'No, as a matter of fact. My book would be all destroyed by the gel in your hair' Aurora said, sounding very casual. 'And you know what? That gel makes your hair look dirty. You remind me of Snape' Sirius made a move to draw his wand, but Aurora was faster, and caught his arm in an iron grip.

'Now, Black, are you sure you want to do that?' Sirius made a face. He would never imagined Aurora to be that strong.

'Let go of me' he said. 'Or you'll break my arm' And, to everybody's surprise, Aurora released her grip, and with the wave of her wand, her book flew out of Remus' hand and landed on the table in front of her. She picked it up, took her bag, and stood up.

'I'm going to bed' she said casually. 'Goodnight' She walked away, heading for the girls' dormitory, but when she saw a new note on the note-board she stopped dead. Then she made a surprised sound. A unpleasant surprised sound.

'What is it, Roe?' Remus asked. She turned around, her eyes wide with horror.

'We're going to watch another film. Tomorrow'

'Well, which film is it? Lily asked.

'Oh, help me. It's...'

**Phillie:** Moahahaha! I'm so evil! I've created a cliffhanger! And I'm so sorry this is such a bad chapter, but I want it up. Just need some ideas for next one. What film will it be? I've got one, but if any smart reviewer could think of something better, let me know by hitting the review-button. Next chapter will be up soon... cough


	3. Of Swedish Curses and Sinking Ships

Note: Yes, I'm evil. I've waited to write this chapter until everybody was so curious that they almost killed me (one of my friends threatened to steal my Dead Poets Society-tape if I didn't finish this chapter...). Just kidding, I've not kept all my lovely reviewers waiting on purpose. I've got a little problem called school, which means I've got enough to do at evenings as it is. So, I decided to skip a lesson (Biology) to write this chapter. So I did (I skipped lunch, too, and bought myself a sandwich in the cafeteria). Oh, the things I do for my lovely reviewers... But, stupid me, I forgot the notebook at school, so I wasn't able to write this until I got my notebook back from hell... And then there was no homework for the next day, so I finally was able to finish this chapter... Or so I thought. For then I caught a flu, which kept me in bed for a couple of days.  
Many of you people out there have suggested films, but unfortunately I haven't seen any of them, just the Exorcist and Sweet Home Alabama (both gave me nightmares...), and I didn't really feel like tormenting the marauders that much. But thank you so much for helping me!  
The film they're going to see was a suggestion from a friend of mine (more or less), so, as promised, Roger, this is for you!  
And, I know, James and Sirius sure didn't learn much in Muggle Studies, they were probably playing Parchment Killer...  
This is a very silly chapter. Not good at all...

The Sinking Ship

The next evening the Gryffindor fifth-years were gathered in their dormitory, waiting for the arrival of Aurora, who had gone to pick up the film from their Muggle Studies Professor.

'She should be back by now' James said.

'I bet she's walking slowly just to annoy us'

'Of course she isn't' Lily Evans said. 'Robyn, don't be unfair to her. She's probably just outside the door as we speak'

'No, she isn't' Sirius said. 'Nobody can walk those stairs quietly, we would be able to hear her' Just when he said that, the door opened, and a black-haired girl entered.

'How did you do that, Roe?' Remus asked.

'Do what?' Aurora said, pulling out a video-tape from her bag.

'Walk up those stairs without us hearing you' Sirius said.

'My secret' Aurora said, walking over to the television set, and putting the tape in the video-player.

'Wait!' Robyn said.

'What?' Aurora said.

'You're not gonna tell us which film it is?' Robyn said. Aurora turned around.

'You don't _know_?' she asked with a very sly grin.

'Of course we don't know!' James said. 'You ripped down that note from the note-board, stupid'

'And why did I do that?' Aurora said.

'Don't ask me to tell you how your mind works, Roe' James and Sirius said together.

'Because I wanted it to be a surprise, nutters. It'll all be relieved in time'

'When?' James wanted to know.

'You see this button? When I push it, the film will start'

'Really?' Sirius asked, sounding interested. 'Like magic?'

author giggles, drinks a glass of water and continues writing:

'Yeah' Aurora answered, sounding bored. 'Muggle magic. Wizards use wands, muggles use buttons, savvy?' James nodded, although he didn't really understand.

'Right' Aurora continued, 'this film is about three hours long, so if you sleepyheads want to be in bed before midnight we'll better start watching. So, now, the moment we've been waiting for, I will push the button!' Aurora pushed PLAY, and the screen went blue.

'Gee, I've seen this film _so_ many times' Aurora muttered.

'How come?' Remus asked.

'Rezzie's favourite' Rezzie was Aurora's older sister.

Rezzie, or Lucrezia, was supposed to be in last chapter, but I decided that she should make her appearance later

'What's the film about' Remus asked.

'A sinking boat' Aurora replied, as the word TITANIC appeared on the screen. Robyn and Lily made surprised noises.

'Isn't Titanic supposed to be very good?'

'It's a film for weak-minded, brainwashed twelve-year-old girls with a taste for stupid romantic films' was Auroras reply. She had already given up watching.

'Why do you always have such a negative attitude?' Sirius asked.

''I was born that way' Aurora said, lying on her back on the floor with her eyes closed.

'Come on, it might be fun' Lily said.

'Watching Titanic_ again_? Don't think so. Wake me up when they've hit that piece of ice'

But Aurora did not manage to fall asleep, since James and Sirius insisted on that she should translate what Olaf and Sven was saying. So she did, and she laughed very much when they tried to say Håll käften! (shut up!). Then she was left alone maybe a minute, and then she taught them to say another thing in Swedish, Förbannade idiot!, which means (literally translated), damned idiot. But James and Sirius couldn't pronounce that either. They were all silent for a while, and then James said:

'Now that is a _cute_ girl!' Of course, Kate Winslet in the purple hat had appeared on the screen.

'Just wait and see, Jamie. You'll see her topless in about an hour' Aurora said.

'Really?' James and Sirius said together.

'On second thought, no' Aurora said, and every boy in the dormitory looked very disappointed. 'Maybe one and a half hour' Aurora went on. 'Will you two shut up?' she added to Robyn and Lily, who were giggling loudly.

After an hour or so, after a lot of stupid comments about popcorn (only in cinema, James!), and the famous looks of Leonardo DiCaprio (Robyn! He looks like he was about eleven!), the scene they've waited for, at least James and Sirius, was about to begin. Aurora slumbered on the floor, but was woken up by a loud catcall from Sirius.

'I like her dressing-gown, it's cool' she said without opening her eyes.

'I didn't even see it' Sirius said. Aurora opened her eyes, and saw that Lily and Robyn were blushing slightly, and they were giggling at the same time. Sirius and James were whispering, but Aurora caught some things Sirius were whispering:

'...if Lily looks like _her_ without clothes, as well as with, I do understand why you're chasing her, mate!' James didn't respond, he just tried to push Sirius of the bed they were sitting on. Remus and Peter were both watching the film, one looking slightly interested, the other looking nervous. Aurora closed her eyes. Why on earth could their Muggle Studies Professor not pick films which _not_ contained naked women? I'll suggest we see Nalle Puh next, she thought. But she couldn't remember the English name.

neither can I. What is it? Winnie the Pooh? That slow yellow bear in red sweater who eats too much honey? Håning...

'You're so immature!' she said aloud. Nobody answered, they were too interested in watching the film...

'Hey! Shouldn't we wake her up?' James said a while later. There was mayhem on the screen, and Aurora was peacefully sleeping on the floor. 'She told us to wake her up when they hit that iceberg...'

'No James, leave her alone' Remus said. 'She always has trouble falling asleep, let her sleep'

'But she'll miss when the ship sinks! And, this is a homework, she should be present!' Sirius said.

'She is, and if she's seen Titanic before, it doesn't matter if she's awake or not' Remus said.

'You're right about that, now can you please be quiet?' Lily said.

'Yes, Ma'am!' Sirius said. 'That water looks _really_ cold'

'Don't worry, it's probably fake' Robyn said.

'How can you be so sure?' James wanted to know.

'It's a film! Nothing's real on film' Robyn said.

'So you mean that, hem hem, that wasn't real either?'

'Of _course _not! Would you like to go to bed with somebody you hardly knew?'

'If she's as hot as her' Sirius said, nodding towards the screen, 'I wouldn't mind'

Robyn didn't bother do reply. She knew it was hopeless.

To everybody's, hem hem, surprise, the Titanic did really sink.

'So, what do you think?' Aurora said.

'I thought you were asleep' James said.

'I was. What did you think of this film?'

'It was very good' Lily said.

'And very romantic' Robyn added. 'How can you say it's bad?'

'I thought it was rather silly. A very pointless story' Remus said.

'Remus, you're the only one in here who've got a brain' Aurora said, smiling.

'Hey, what about me?' Sirius said. Aurora didn't bother to answer. Instead she said:

'So, now we've seen two films, one stupid, one more stupid. I wonder what we will see next...'

I know, this chapter stinks. End stinks. This chapter is so bad that I should press Delete. I hate this chapter. I'll rewrite it someday. Until then, try not to judge me to hard, I can do better than this. I think. And I hope so...


End file.
